2014/06/04

Goat Simulator – Atualização / Upgrade divulgado

Com a atualização do Goat Simulator é acrescentada ao jogo muita coisa útil (ou não). Tem alguns acessórios novos e o Multiplayer... mas o que mais se destaca e entretém é o jeito como a gente da Coffee Stain Studios anuncia e descreve seu upgrade. Só traduzi alguma coisa – essa mensagem deles é mais recreativa do que um ou outro jogo que circula por aí:
 

- Added local splitscreen multiplayer
- Added a new map, try it out in the "custom game" section
- The humans have been given a brain with the cognitive abilities of a 4 year old (Os humanos dispõe agora de um cérebro com as capacidades cognitivas de uma criança de 4 anos).
- Humans consequently learned to speak. You'll wish they hadn't.
- Added more goats
- Made fun of Michael Bay. Again. Please don't sue. (Achincalhamos outra vez o Michael Bay. Por favor, não nos processem.)
- Added more powers; Fixed the hitbox of flappy goat; Poured several buckets full of Optimization™ into the game; Made sure no class differences exists in Goat City Bay
- Added tons of achievements (Adicionamos montões de troféus)
- You can now run along walls; You can now run up walls; Stand by for Goatfall; Changed batteries in our fire alarm
- The Goats have learned to ride bikes, press R to mount. (As cabras aprenderam andar de bicicleta).
- The Goats have learned to ride longboards, press R to mount.
- The Humans have learned how to ride Goats; Enjoyed flappy goat;  You can now buy hats for money; Fixed display of Int enchantments on crafted gear
- Applying plastic wrap around your screen will now give you a 3D-effect. (Envolvendo sua tela/monitor em plástico, você vai obter um efeito 3D).
- Added VR support; Reverted hitbox of flappy goat; Made hitbox worse on flappygoat; Removed Flappy Goat, I hate that fucking game.
- Got 11 points on Flappy Goat; readded Flappy Goat; Spent more time writing jokes about Flappy Goat than working on the patch; Changed the points required for the Flappy Goat Achievement from 10 to 30
- Just kidding.
- Removed VR support ; Ultra-realistic water simulation; Fire alarm still beeping
- You can now swim. Well not really swim, more like float around in a semi-controlled buoyant propulsion fashion.
- Added volume slider in options for NPC speech; Deadmau5 has finally left EDM. Is now making Goatronica.
- We went to see Godzilla. It was ok. Cool sound effects. (Assistimos ao filme Godzilla...).
- Updated patch notes; Added a lot of new sound effects; There is a new game inside of the game, it's called SteamWorld Goat; Honored Notch; Changed batteries in fire alarm. Again.
- Wanted to add shadows to buildable blocks but couldn't figure out how, can someone please tell us? (Tentamos criar efeitos sombra em os blocos de construção mas não sabemos como fazê-lo. Alguém aí que nos possa ajudar?)
- Patch notes now covers more than an A4; Seriously stop making threads asking about patch notes 4 seconds after the patch goes live, calm down;
- Game downloading, does anyone have the patch notes? New patch? Patch released today does anyone know what it does; Where are the patch notes
- Fire alarm still beeping; Why is the patch so big? Lazy devs.
- If you want we can zip it, then rar it to make it smaller. Do you want it on Megaupload?
- Is this game worth it? Should I buy? Devs please put the game on a sale so I can save 4 bucks
I don't like ___, please add an option to remove ___ ; Performed Satanic rituals to summon Phil Fish
Plz come back
- Actually optimized the game a bit
- What use are ladders when you can run on the walls? (Pra que precisam escadas se agora até já podem correr as paredes acima).
- I hate water; Played a whole lot of Wildstar; Volvo pls fix ___; Added a Capture the Flag game mode.
- Added Uncle Goat, I'm sorry about my Goat; Added a Capture the Flag game mode.
Added five new colors, all of which are unseeable by the human eye. (Adicionamos 5 novas cores mas as quais o olho humano não consegue visualizar).
-We actually bought a stuffed goat head IRL for our office, we have no idea what to do with it.
-Updated our Meta Score to 91/100.; Killed PC gaming; How long will the patch notes be?
-Changed batteries in the other fire alarm; Increased Storm Spirit's Static Remnant AoE by 15.
-Ride a bike with a human on your back. Not like this dude:  YouTube Video: Goat riding a guy riding a bike (Já pode andar de bicicleta com um humano colado às costas / veja vídeo no YouTube).
 

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